entry 2: dream

dear diary,

is it okay if i start in the middle of the story? because, i mean, as long as i know the beginning, then it's all good, right? besides, it would take forever to fill you in completely--i have 16 years to tell.

anyways, i had a dream last night. it was one of those dreams where you are so disappointed it was only a dream. he was in it. he's always in it. the one part that i remember clearly is as follows:

we're sitting in class or something. a woman walks by holding a baby in a car seat. the baby and dazzling blue eyes.

me: "aw! the baby has blue eyes! did i mention i want a baby with blue eyes?" (and this is funny because i have mentioned this. numerous times.)

him: "well, i'll make sure to give my genes to you then." (he also said something scientific about dominant and recessive genes, but since i don't know what it is, i can't dream it. it just came out in incoherent mumbles. and something about goggles.)

me: *giving him a questioning look* "because i'll have your child...?"

him: *alarmed* "oh! uh...no, that's not what i meant..."

me: *turning away and patting his arm* "i'm kidding."
but, see, i wasn't.

now, while this dream was sweet and cute, it was also kind of alarming. i've only known him for 6 months and i'm already dreaming of having his baby? maybe i just want him to dream about me having his baby. yeah. maybe that's it.

the point is, not a moment passes when he's not on my mind. that's what scares me.

love,
yasmine

p.s. i'm writing down the full story of my friends and my complicated love mess here.